I hate myself.
I hate my life.
I hate everything.
I hate the fact that I can't be Mormon.
I hate that I'm stuck with my boyfriend; too afraid to leave him, but hating every minute of staying. It just got comfortable.
I hate that I am so unmotivated.
I hate that I can spend hours on the internet.
I hate that my car is broken down.
I hate that nobody cares about me and that they have no reason to.
I hate myself for hating my mom.
I hate that I smoke.
I hate that I get freaked out when I smoke.
I hate that I have really bad writer's block.
I hate that I don't like the last place I published my story.
I hate that nobody reads this journal.
I hate that I don't care.
I hate that I eat.
I hate that I puke.
I hate that I worry.
I wish I could starve. Anorexia, where are you? I miss you.
To get back on track with this shit, I'm going to go buy a fucking accurate scale. Any suggestions? I could also REALLY use some ana diet suggestions. Our power is out; we are living off of a cord running from our neighbors that allows us to hook up the computer and a lamp. This means the stove and the fridge don't work. This could make not eating easier. Maybe I will do nothing but celery and salsa or something like that? Suggestions, please. Boyfriend is off today, and we'll probably eat shit. I can start Sunday.